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If he embraces moderation then this may seem like a valuable trait but you would be mistaken.

In the twenty-first century moderation seems quaint at best and dangerous at worst. All-you-can-eat buffets, video-on-demand, large sized popcorn and soda containers at the movies, all-day football on Sundays. These are what make life meaningful these days. These are also under direct attack by guys who moderate their consumption.

So what are we to make of guys who reject excess and instead embrace moderation. Why would a guy order water in a restaurant instead of soda or beer or wine or anything else with flavor? Why would he order a burger and get a side of salad instead of fries? Why would he go to a baseball game and not eat any food? You can easily imagine more scenarios which make no sense in the context of the twenty-first century ethos of excess.

So what lies behind their rejection of excessive consumption? Are we supposed to be impressed with guys who reject enjoying what we all take forgranted as necessary things in life? Are we supposed to feel bad about ourselves and our inability to say no? Well that’s the result. Whether it is intended or not, being around these beacons of moderation encourages us to look inwards and see exactly how little self-control we have.

It may seem possible that you will learn to embrace his ascetic lifestyle over time and that you will learn value lessons of self-control from him. It is possible that in two years time you’ll spend time together at an ashram in northern India rejecting the material trappings of this world and growing closer together in the process. But we all know that isn’t going to happen. Nothing against you, of course. It’s just not worth it.

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If he is in great physical shape then start asking questions. 

By no means do I advocate going for a guy who is completely overweight and out of shape. Those are obvious signs that your guy does not take good care of himself. There may very well be legitimate reasons if he is bigger: a recurring injury, genetics, a busy schedule that doesn’t permit for physical activity or poor eating habits. It may also just be laziness or slothfulness and you don’t want that in your life. 

On the other hand, do you really want a guy who is a complete adonis with rock hard muscles and six pack abs? Maybe that is your dream. But consider this: do you have any idea how much time a guy has to spend in the gym and how much of his life must be dedicated to improving his body for him to achieve those results? The answer is alot. Chances are if you know a guy like this he has spent more on protein shakes in the last year than you have on shoes — and that’s no good. (Those shakes also taste terrible. I dare you to try a Green Apple flavored protein shake. You have to be truly obssessed with your body to drink that swill.)

Not only does this type of guy pour all of his money into developing and maintaining his body, he spends all of his time at the gym. If he were forsaking spending time with you to go to dance clubs, would you be suspicious then? Yeah, I thought so. What about if he didn’t want to hang out with you because he was at the bar with his buddies — you have a problem with that? Again, I think I know the answer. Well, for guys like this the gym is their dance club or bar. They can hang out with their buddies under the pretense of lifting. They can flex and preen in the mirrors and show off for each other. They can go and see girls in tight clothes working out and being active. Oh, it’s bad allright.

There are certain good aspects to picking a guy in great physical shape. He won’t drink and he won’t smoke. But who knows what he is injecting himself with at the gym to enhance his muscles? Who knows how many cycles of steroids he will do or how much creatine he’ll injest. It may not matter to you now, but the chickens will come home to roost when he starts going bald early, loses a testicle to cancer or has a ‘roid rage that leaves you shaken, not stirred.

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