Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

If he works and never takes vacations then it is probably best not to get involved with this guy. After all, why would you want to fall in love with a guy who loves his job more than anything else? As we discussed earlier, do you really want to work at prying him away from what he loves most in this world?

If he doesn’t take vacations then this is an obvious sign that he is a workaholic. In some societies this is a desirable quality. I bet if you had the power to build your very own society or community then you would probably want lots of workaholics around. After all, they do the heavy lifting (they might literally carry heavy stuff around all day or they may do so professionally or analytically – the lawyers, doctors, bankers). The former will probably be too tired and worn out from their all day exercise and punishing schedule to pay you much attention once they find a few minutes or days away from work. In fact, I’ve known some movers who, when not working, can sleep straight for an entire day or two without ever dreaming of flying to Paris or Budapest. Regarding the latter, you will never be the primary love of his life because, well, he is probably the first love of his life (unless he loves work just a little more than he loves himself).

But assuming you are not building your own society (although he may be trying to build a virtual one himself – beware!) then you should discard any illusions you have with being able to change this type of guy. Some guys just love to work. Work defines who they are, delineates who they will interact with and leaves them feeling fulfilled. The prospect of them eating lunch and dinner at their desk every day for the next thirty or forty years doesn’t scare them, it thrills them. Does it excite you? I didn’t think so.

Of course, this post only applies to guys who work. If he is unemployed and doesn’t take vacations you have a whole boatload of other problems.


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If he doesn’t travel, proceed slowly.

Back in the days of cavemen it made sense to not travel. Who knew what was around the bend? Saber-toothed tigers? A hostile tribe? It would have been understandable if Thag didn’t want to travel far from his cave and instead prefered to retreat to its mossy comforts.

Even a century ago it was difficult and taxing to travel just about anywhere. Want to go to Europe from North America? Sure. It was possible. Just sit on a boat for a month and there you are — Europe. Didn’t you enjoy that month of your life being knocked back and forth on a cramped vessel amid the high seas of the North Atlantic.  Once you got there few people would have spoken English beyond England; you wouldn’t have known European languages and it would have all been very difficult unless you had considerable means to fund your time abroad. I won’t even bother mentioning how difficult it would have been to travel to Asia or Africa. 

Things are different now. You can travel from New York to England in about the same time and with the same ease as it takes to get to California. They even speak the same language there! If he hasn’t bothered to travel at all he probably has a limited understanding about the world and about other people. Are you interested in that? Maybe you are. If you are, then enjoy spending the next 30 years of your life visiting the same places as you did up until this point. If you have a sense of adventure and you would like to explore the world, do not go for a guy like this.

What about exploring the world through the internet or tv or magazines, you say? Can’t me and my non-traveling guy explore the world together from the comfort of our couch? You can read Conde Nast Traveller, watch the travel channel and browse all the best internet sites. Well, you certainly could do all those things but that seems like a poor substitute for walking down ancient, winding roads in a city which was built 1,000 years ago where no one speaks English and the aromas are intriguing and unfamiliar.

The point is, if you meet a guy who doesn’t travel, you aren’t going to change him. If he has never left his town and shows no interest in doing so, he probably never will. Again, if you aren’t interested in going anywhere either, then by all means, go ahead. But if you are itching with wanderlust, find a more suitable mate.

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