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Posts Tagged ‘friends’

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If he is a cheapskate, stay away and count your blessings as they multiply like the balance of his savings account.
Being a cheapskate is not necessarily a gendered quality, but there are so many guys who are incredibly cheap that it may seem that way. Their cheapness can be born out of a childhood in which their family had little money, growing up in a third world country or just because they want to keep their money to themselves. Some cheap guys love shopping at dollar stores and buying useless crap there. Some take it even further and limit themselves to window shopping at dollar stores. My advice: be wary of the former and stay far away from the latter.

You should care if your guy is a cheapskate because on one level or another it will affect you. Now I’m not saying you’re a golddigger ot that you want your guy to buy you LV purses or Jimmy Choo shoes. Far from it, I’m sure. But who doesn’t want to feel special and loved with him splurging on you every now and again (did someone say flowers?)? Well, if you are seeing a guy who is a cheapskate you have to be prepared for him to raise his eyebrows when you order a second drink out at dinner or get dessert. Are you ready for that?

Guys who are cheapskates can be good partners. They will take you on walks in the countryside and take you for picnics in the park (provided they can cook). But they sure aren’t going to take you to that new restaurant in town that everyone’s been talking about and where you have to reserve a table a month ahead of time. It’s all about where you imagine yourself being happy: in a fancy restaurant with starched table clothes and four servers bringing you food prepared by a chef you’ve seen on tv or in the local pizza shop for the third time that week. The choice is yours because you know he’s not going to become a big spender over night (despite how many hints you drop).

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If he is friends with only guys then you probably know where I’m going with this.

Guys in North America are particularly prone to being friends only with other guys. It may connect back to the pack mentality or it may just be a result of being in fraternities together for too long. For whatever reason, guys love homosocializing.  And why not? They have many of the same interests: they can work out together, watch sports together, talk about girls together and joke around with each other.  Most importantly, guys can just chill together without worrying about the future or the past and live thoroughly in the moment.

Living in the moment isn’t always possible with girls. They want to talk about previous arguments or plan for a future together. Guys who are used to hanging out only with other guys will find looking forward and looking back too demanding and difficult. If you are interested in a guy who only has male friends you must be prepared for this.

It is by no means impossible to break him from his homosocializing tendencies and to replace his interjections of “Dude” with him whispering “Sweetie” in your ear. But you can be sure it will take time and effort. It may even take driving a wedge between him and his guy friends. This is a dangerous option yet sometimes the only possible one. If you are too cavalier and quick in breaking things between him and his boys he will resent you. If you are too slow you may grow resentful and angry at always being second fiddle to a night-out-with-the-boys.

Your reward will be a guy of your own to hug and to hold until he gets tired of thinking too much and just wants to chill and watch sports.

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