Posts Tagged ‘guy’

If he works and never takes vacations then it is probably best not to get involved with this guy. After all, why would you want to fall in love with a guy who loves his job more than anything else? As we discussed earlier, do you really want to work at prying him away from what he loves most in this world?

If he doesn’t take vacations then this is an obvious sign that he is a workaholic. In some societies this is a desirable quality. I bet if you had the power to build your very own society or community then you would probably want lots of workaholics around. After all, they do the heavy lifting (they might literally carry heavy stuff around all day or they may do so professionally or analytically – the lawyers, doctors, bankers). The former will probably be too tired and worn out from their all day exercise and punishing schedule to pay you much attention once they find a few minutes or days away from work. In fact, I’ve known some movers who, when not working, can sleep straight for an entire day or two without ever dreaming of flying to Paris or Budapest. Regarding the latter, you will never be the primary love of his life because, well, he is probably the first love of his life (unless he loves work just a little more than he loves himself).

But assuming you are not building your own society (although he may be trying to build a virtual one himself – beware!) then you should discard any illusions you have with being able to change this type of guy. Some guys just love to work. Work defines who they are, delineates who they will interact with and leaves them feeling fulfilled. The prospect of them eating lunch and dinner at their desk every day for the next thirty or forty years doesn’t scare them, it thrills them. Does it excite you? I didn’t think so.

Of course, this post only applies to guys who work. If he is unemployed and doesn’t take vacations you have a whole boatload of other problems.


Read Full Post »

If he is already seeing someone else, for heaven’s sake don’t go for him.

It is truly remarkable how many girls go after guys who are already attached. Remarkable and sad. Remarkable because they think all their problems would be solved if only they could pry some guy away from his current partner. Sad because these girls tie their emotional well-being, their future and their sense of self exclusively to their current circumstances.

It is cliché to say that there are a lot of fish in the world. If we are talking about fish, there aren’t. Prices for fresh fish are going through the roof. If you’ve had sushi in the last few years you’ve probably seen that price increase and I don’t have to tell you about it. Lack of supply, increase in demand and all that. If we are talking about guys, there is no problem with supply and there are lots more of them out there. Luckily, humans increase their numbers at an alarming rate. For the environment this is bad. For a girl looking for a guy this is good.

Girls go after guys who are attached because they know another girl has already done her research. The tough work has already been done by someone else — why not just sweep in and enjoy the fruits of someone else’s labor. The problem is that if you do somehow coax him to leave his current girl for you, who’s to say that he won’t leave you at some point in the future? Any possibility of you trusting him in the future has already been compromised by your own actions. That’s a shame, isn’t it? So, even if you do convince a guy who you know to leave his girl for you, while you may think you are solving your problems in the short term you are not helping yourself in the long term.

A more fundamental problem is that these girls are short sighted in another way — she looks for prospective guys based only on her current circumstances. She looks at her friends, sees who they are dating and decides that those guys are the limits of her options. To a rational person this makes no sense. There are millions of guys in America alone. There are billions across the whole world. Guess what…many of them are single! Why do certain girls just try to poach guys who are dating other girls? Because it is the easy thing to do.

It is far easier to continue hanging out with the same people (and trying to steal their guys from behind their backs) than it is to go out and meet completely new people. Yet this is what must be done. It is far healthier to get out there, join a club, join an organization or start your own, join a sports league, talk to strangers in the subway or on the street. Meet people in random and interesting ways. At first it will be difficult but in the long run well worth it. I should add on this last point: if you are younger you can get away with this. If you are older you may look crazy, and while certain guys go for craziness, you probably wouldn’t want to go for them.

Read Full Post »