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If you meet a guy and everything he says is a joke, proceed with caution. 

Many guys think they are funny. Few actually are. If you meet a guy who likes to joke around, that is ok and by itself is not cause for alarm. That just means he fits neatly into the majority of guys who think they are funny. But if he is incapable of having a serious conversation with you, alarm bells should be going off in your head just like the red light bursting in a stand-up comedian’s eyes before he is mercifully dragged off the stage at the end of an unfortunate performance.

We all use humor to mask our real feelings and guys are no different. No one wants to be with a guy who is emotionally available all the time. Sure, you may want to know that your guy has cried before. But you don’t want an emotional basket-case who breaks down in a fit of tears at the slightest provocation or at the latest made-for-tv-movie on the Hallmark channel. On the other hand, can you imagine being with Jim Carrey (seemingly the epitome of a guy who is emotionally shut off from others)? If being with a guy who is emotionally close to being a twelve-year-old boy interests you, this post is for you. Guys like that do not change — are incapable of change — and you would do well to avoid them. 

Jokes are of course a good way to diffuse tension and gain the attention and affection of others. In moderation these are acceptable reasons for guys to make jokes. At the right moment, jokes are entirely necessary. We all remember the time when you got caught in class doing something bad (you tell me! I know you have a story) and the class-clown made the perfectly timed joke to take attention away from you. You loved the guy then! But if you are interested in a relationship with a perpetual jokester and you think you can change their behavior and teach them limits, know that you cannot. If on your first date he is more interested in making you laugh than finding out about you and your interests, you must know that he is going to act the same way in the future. Imagine coming home tired from work in ten years time wanting to confide in him your annoyances of the day and he greets you at the door with his lame imitation of the latest Hollywood comedic offerings. Get out now while you can.

I should note that guys who are professional comedians are exempt from this warning but deserve their own special warning. In my experience, professional comedians are rarely if ever funny in real life. They save their best material for the stage, making them hollow shells of their comedic selves in their daily interactions with others. For this reason it is probably best to avoid comedians as well. Can you imagine being with a dour guy who lives to please others for the rest of your life?

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